


Keep coming back to you

by AnkaBaiam



Series: Carry on [2]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Even Bech Næsheim, Happy Ending, I promise!!, M/M, They still love each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-19 15:06:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14239905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnkaBaiam/pseuds/AnkaBaiam
Summary: Part 2: Even comes back to Isak. They have some things to talk about.... PLEASE READ PART 1 FIRST (Carry on) SO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS PART :)





	1. DAY 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiiii! I promise this time it'll finish happy. (And I have one small surprise for you in the end)

It was exactly 164 days since Isak saw Even for the last time. 5 months, 1 week and 4 days from the day Even left the hospital.

Isak knew it was bad idea to have sex with him, when they actually kind of broke up, and they weren't even dating.

But he missed Even. He's still missing him.

 

After the unfortunately meeting in the hospital, Isak went to his flat and started cleaning. He was cleaning when he was angry. Right now, he was furious.

He started in his bedroom, cleaning everything. He pulled down the pictures from walls. The drawings Even gave him. He opened his wardrobe and sorted the clothes. The Even's one he put in the paper box, where were already other things.

He also put there things that belonged to Even, and which he never took. Such as his favourite cup.

 _One day Even came home and told Isak that he bought two cups. One green for Even, and the blue one for Isak. Isak was holding the green cup for a while, then he put it in the box._ As he was standing there in the kitchen the anger suddenly was too much. He started throwing up all the dishes. He didn't see anything because of his tears. He didn't see the plates falling the floor. Crashing. Breaking. He didn't hear anything. He was screaming. But he didn't heard anything. He throw up all the cups. Then glasses. Until all the shelves were empty. He was sitting on the floor, sobbing. In the middle of the mess.

He didn't know how long he was sitting there. He didn't notice when Sana opened the doors to his flat and took him to bed without asking anything.

When he woke up, he found Sana sitting in the living room. The kitchen was all cleaned. Sana smiled on him softly. "Thanks." Isak whispered. "How do you feel?" She asked. "I'll be fine." "Okay," Sana stood up, "just call me if you need anything... Or want to talk." Isak nodded and Sana left.

He needed new things he figured out. He went shopping. He bought new dishes. All white, simple shapes. White colour was pure, calm clean. He also bought new sheets (also white) and some cover for couch and tablecloth, all in white.

White was now his symbolic colour. Clean, calm, free. Reborn.

Soon he started going out again. He went to bars with his friends. Even though he still worked as long as he could and spend almost no time at his flat. He started going on lunches with Sana, sometimes Yousef joined them, he went out with boys, he felt that life could be good again.

Recently Jonas asked him to be his best man. It seemed he finally asked Eva to marry him. That lead to a celebration lunch, where the boys squad and girl squad met again.

Isak was honestly happy for his friends. Sana came with Yousef and their small girl. Magnus and Vilde, Even thought they were now with other people, still were very good friends. Noora came all the way from London, together with her boyfriend. Chris was still her usual self, flirting with Isak, because he was single now, right?

It was really nice day. One of bests Isak had since... And Isak was, honestly, happy. All his friends were there. Laughing. Talking. Catching up on what they missed during the years. Isak talked to all his friends, talking about jobs, partners, kids, future...

Everyone was here except Even.

But Isak didn't mind. He didn't.

 

_Life was good. Until it wasn't._


	2. DAY 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even shows up, but something is wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things get better, I promise :)

At one point Isak started working night shifts. It was quieter. Not so stressful. The people working there were nice. He liked it.

 

And so, as any other day, Isak was getting to work. It has been already dark outside. Heavy raining. Storm to be.

He put on his clean clothes, making a cup of coffee. He heard the drops heavily falling on the window.

He didn't mind raining. Most people found it annoying. He found it calming. Peaceful. Sometimes during rainy days he made himself coffee and sat in the living room, all lights turned off, listening to the drops.

He was just about to take his coffee and put his jacket on, leaving to work, when he heard the knock.

Someone knocked on his door. Isak looked on his watch. It was 18 o'clock. His friends knew he was leaving to job. So who could it be?

He went to the door and opened them. Behind them was the last person Isak expected to see.

Even.

"I think I am slipping." Even whispered as he almost collapsed against the door. At that moment Isak noticed the stream of blood running down Even's arm.

"Shit." He said as he dragged Even inside his flat, sitting him on the couch. "Even?" He called the older boy, "stay awake, please!" He ran in bathroom for towels and some tape. When he came back, he saw Even lying on the couch, his blood all over it. He sat him back.

"Even!" He shouted trying to wake up the other boy. As Even slowly opened his eyes Isak sighed. _Blue eyes meeting the green ones._ "You need to stay awake, okay?" He said as he was tucking up Even's jacked, pressing the towel on the wound. He took the tape and used it to steady the towel. "What happened?" He asked but the boy didn't say anything. "Even! What happened?!" "I..uh..." He stuttered, "...I think I broke some glass..." He looked on Isak, "I'm fucking up everything again, am I not?" He asked with such pain in his voice.

Isak sighed. He checked the towel, making sure Even is not loosing much more blood. "Please don't take me to hospital." Even suddenly whispered, crying. And Isak couldn't. Not when he saw Even like this. "Okay." He said, helping him to walk to his bedroom. Here he put off all his wet clothes and let him under the blanket.

He called to his work to tell them he can't come, then he texted Even's mother to tell her Even is safe with him and went back to check on him. He knew he wouldn't sleep tonight anyway, so he went to the living room and looked at all the mess.

There were drops of blood coming all the way from door to the couch. The couch was messed up as well. Isak sighed and went to the bathroom for the mop and started cleaning.

It was going to be a long night. Isak was checking on Even every few minutes, making sure he is still breathing. He should take care of his wound but he didn't have heart to wake up Even.

He will do it tomorrow.


	3. DAY 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak finds out what happened to Even. Some promises were broken.

He spent whole night cleaning the mess and looking over Even. When it was finally morning Isak made breakfast and coffee. He left something for Even and went to his room to wake him up.

He wasn't sure how big will his episode be this time, but he hoped that Even will have at least some energy to go to kitchen, where Isak can sew his wounds.

He woke up Even and led him in the kitchen. He let him sit on one of white chairs in his kitchen and went in the bathroom to take his aid kit.

As he came back to the kitchen, Even was still sitting there, waiting for Isak. Her jumped a little bit when Isak softly touched his shoulder. Isak smiled on him and kneeled in front of him. He opened the aid kit and slowly removed the towel from Even's arm.

The wound wasn't bleeding anymore. Isak took one clean small towel and wet it. He used it to clean Even's arm. Even hissed whereupon Isak whispered "Sorry.", but continued cleaning the wounds.

"What happened?" He asked Even, referring his arm. "I think I punched through some glass." Even said. _Lied_. Isak knew he was lying, but didn't say anything, giving Even chance to tell the truth. Unfortunately Even didn't, he was just avoiding his gaze.

"I really want you to go to hospital..." Isak said, focusing on Even's treatment. "I don't trust them." Even whispered tiredly, his blue eyes looking straight on Isak. "I trust you. Please." Even sobbed and Isak couldn't do anything just nod.

As Isak finished claiming the wounds, he frowned.

_The cuts were clean, neat, straight... It didn't look like an accident... More like as if someone tried to... Please God, tell me he didn't..._

"Fuck Even!" Isak shouted and stood up, walking around the kitchen. Even looked on him, his blue eyes full of shame, insecurely looking on Isak. "Please tell me you didn't..." Isak stuttered, "that you didn't try...." His eyes were full of tears. "Isak,..." Even whispered, "I am sorry...." _So he did try._ "For fucks sake Even!" Isak shouted, his voice full of desperation. "You fucking promised me." "Isak... I am sorry... I really tried." Even said very quietly. "Shut up Even." Isak spat out.

He kneeled in front of Even and without looking on him started sewing his wounds.

Isak was glad that Even understood that it doesn't make any sense to try and talk to Isak. And so both of them were in Isak's kitchen, in silence.

_So we meet one more time. And you break my heart again. When do we finally stop hurting each other? My dear, tell me when we finally accept each other, and stop hurting?_

_Do we ever...?_

When Isak finished sewing and cleaning he handed Even toasts and a glass of water and without any word left to his bedroom. The sheets were dirty from the blood and whole room smelled badly. He opened the windows first, then he pulled off the sheets and put on a new ones. He took the old ones to the bathroom- he will clean them later.

He closed the window in his room and walked back in the kitchen. Even was sitting here as Isak left him there, didn't even touch his food or drink. As he saw Isak, he stood up and tried to say something, but Isak spoke first. "The bed is ready." He murmured harshly and left to bathroom to wash that dirty sheets.

He poured some cold water in the bath and wet the sheets in it, he reached for soap and started washing.

When he was done, he let the sheets dry overnight and went on to check on Even. The older boy was sleeping again, and Isak already knew that this is how it was going to be for the next few days.

He took a cup of coffee and sat on the white couch in his living room. Outside was raining.

_So it was true... Even thought Isak hasn't seen Even for few months... He came to his house anyway. Does it mean Even still likes Isak? Or just needs him. Isak told him that he is always welcome at his house, did Even just used Isak's hospitality?_

_But what made Isak furious and incredibly sad at the same moment, was the fact..._

_So it was true... Even tried to kill himself... Again._

Isak was crying. After all the time, all the promises... Even still tried to leave this world. And Isak felt so betrayed. He knew he had no right to feel this way, after all... He left Even. He should've fight harder for him.

And instead he just got rid of everything that reminded him of Even and moved on. Tried to move on.

And who knows... Maybe Even moved on as well.

Isak went back to his bedroom to check on Even. The boy was sleeping calmly. He looked so peaceful. Isak always thought that when Even was sleeping, his mind was at ease. And he liked sleeping Even.

He knew Even was always having problems with life, but when he was sleeping... Isak liked to think that Even is free when sleeping.

 

As Isak was standing in his bedroom, watching the other boy, one question stroke him.

 

_When Even tried to kill himself... What stopped him from doing so?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry (again and again)


	4. DAY 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Even tried to kill himself... Why didn't he? What stopped him?

_If Even tried to kill himself... Why didn't he? What stopped him?_

 

Isak woke up on the couch. It wasn't the best place to sleep on, but what else he could do? Of course, he could sleep with Even in his bed, it was a big one, but Isak somehow couldn't. Only Even's presence itself was a lot to take for Isak, and sleeping in the same bed? Feeling Even's warmth? Nope. That was too much for Isak.

He checked his phone. Three messages from Sana and two from Liv.

Isak first opened the ones from Sana.

 

**Sanasol**

**Hej Isak**

**Is everything ok??**

**You weren't at job today?**

 

**Hey Sana, sorry I stayed at home.**

**Even came last night, he has episode now so I will just stay with him.**

 

Sana answered almost immediately

 

**Is he ok??**

**...are you ok?**

**Even is fine. He had some wounds, but I took care of it.**

 

He couldn't tell Sana about Even's suicide attempt. He didn't tell anyone about the first one, so he wouldn't about the second one either.

 

**And you?**

**I will be fine.**

 

_Maybe..._

Isak sighed and opened the second chat.

 

**Liv-Even**

**Hej Isak! I wondered if I can come? I can buy some groceries and maybe some lunch? It would be lovely to talk to you again.**

**Hi Liv, that is really nice of you. Just knock and I'll let you in. But Even is sleeping.**

 

Liv really came. Few minutes later someone knocked on the door, Isak opened, greeting Liv. When he was dating Even all these months ago, Liv was like a second mother to him. But after the break up Isak didn't felt like talking to her anymore. She did text him few times, and he answered from politeness but as time went, they stopped.

And Isak missed it. Liv was very similar minded as he was and they used to talk for hours, especially when Even wasn't around.

Isak led Liv in the kitchen and put on a water for tea. Liv smiled, "You remember." She said kindly, she doesn't drink coffee. Only tea. A green one. Isak smiled back, "Of course I do."

Liv put on the counter two paper bags full of some groceries. "Here I bought something for you." Isak nodded and started sorting the food. He put the bread on table, also butter and some other fillings, the other stuff he put in fridge and some shelf's.

When the tea was finished, he put in on the table in front of Liv and himself had coffee.

 

"So," Liv startede as Isak sat in front of her, "how have you been?" She asked and sounded so sad. _I missed you too._

Isak chuckled. _A lot._ "Not much, I am still working in the hospital, maybe just that I started having some lectures in local university, it's about.. uh.. mental disorders." Liv was staring on him, "That's amazing Isak!" She whispered enthusiastically. "Yeah... It's just a few hours per month. It actually helped me to visit my mom more often. We are on good terms now... So yeah.. it's pretty great."

 

_Isak started having these lectures few days after Even broke up with him after the accident. He just wanted to help people around him to understand, to help them accept it and learn to live with these people. Help them and take care about them as he did about Even. He talked about his mother, to show people it's okay to be scared, that it's okay to leave them alone if they don't want help, and if they want, then simply be there for them. He talked about his relationship with Even. The rules they had, such as talking when he wasn't feeling well. Informing him when he thought he was slipping and so on._

_Eventually he started also talking more about their break up, telling his students, that even if they don't do anything wrong it might don't have to be enough._

_And the university loved it. The idea of these courses. They became way more popular and people eventually started opening themselves, sharing their stories, or stories about their close ones. They started going to Isak for help, and Isak loved it. He always loved helping people._

_And most importantly, the courses helped him through. He accepted what happened. It helped him understand that maybe he just wasn't the one Even needed._

 

Isak was smiling. "I'm glad." Both of them started eating. "So what is new in Bech Næsheim family?" Isak asked.

"Well, Kristian got promotion, I am still working in library. And Even... Is still Even." Liv answered. "And..." Isak stuttered, "and how is Even doing?" _He tried to kill himself you know?_ Liv smiled sadly. "It was hard on him. He was broken and he honestly never told me why he broke up with you. But I guess I always he he still loved you... And I kind of hoped you will find your way back together again..." _Don't say that. It hurts._ "But he hadn't eat, he didn't talk to us, he was just locked in his room, not talking to anyone... After some time the boy managed to get him out...  It it were dark times," _Yeah for me as well..._ "I don't think he ever got over it." Liv whispered, "Over you." _You can't say that. It hurts._ "I'm sorry it was hard for you." Isak said and Liv took his hand. "It's not your fault Isak," and when she saw the tears in his eyes she continued, "sometimes it just doesn't work out." "I should've fight harder." Isak whispered, drying his tears.

 

It appeared that Liv also brought some books for Isak. They were mostly about universe, since it was their common hobby.

She stayed few more hours, keeping Isak company. Before she left she went to try and talk to Even for a bit.

Isak waited in front of the door, not meaning to eavesdrop, but still he heard some of their talk.

"Even, it's me. Mom." Even shifted on the bed, but didn't say anything. "I thought maybe you want me to take you home?" Isak's heart jumped. He wasn't quiet sure why. Because Even came just because of his hospitality, right? Even again didn't say anything. After while Liv came out of the room and closed the door behind herself.

"He wants to stay here." It sounded like a question to Isak, but he didn't say anything. "Is it okay with you?" She asked carefully. Isak just nodded. "Don't worry about it Liv," he said, "I will take care of him." She smiled lightly, "I know you will. I am just scared that you will get hurt again... You both hurt already..." _Yeah... We do. Don't we? But tell me how? How can I stop hurting?_

Isak didn't say anything and walked Liv to the door, here he hugged her and tell her goodbye.

"Why didn't you do it?" Isak asked quietly, when he came in the room. He knew Even wasn't sleeping. There was silence. "I met someone," Even whispered, "I just couldn't break his heart again." _That's it. Even moved on. They were over._ Isak felt the tears coming to his eyes. He couldn't let Even see him cry so without another word he left.

_It was over. They were over. Isak wasn't enough._

 

When Isak went to check on Even later that night, but the other boy was sleeping again. That's how's it going to be for few more days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry! From now on things FINALLY GET BETTER


	5. DAY 5-7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Isak walked in the kitchen he noticed a small paper on the plate. He opened it. The tears went in his eyes.
> 
> It was a drawing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Guys! In this chapter Isak will talk about some mental illnesess, I myself have no experience with them, so I tried my best to write it somehow true and to not upset anyone. Hope you like it!

Next two days were quite boring. Even was sleeping all the time, and Isak was reading to kill some time. He had nothing more to do, because his whole flat was already as clean as it could be.

 

It was Tuesday, which meant, that Isak had another lesson on the university. Of course he could cancel it, to be with Even, but on the other side, he couldn't do anything to help Even, so he could leave anyway.

He made some breakfast for him and brought it in his bedroom. "Hey," he whispered as he put the plate and cup on the night table next to the bed, where Even was laying. "I need to leave to the university, so I made you some food and something to drink." Even opened his eyes, but didn't say anything. _Okay,_ Isak thought, turned around and went to the doors, "Also, if anything happens, just call me okay?"

"I don't want to hurt you." Even suddenly whispered. Isak looked back on him. He looked so small, curled in the bed, hidden under all the blankets, he looked so vulnerable. "What?" Isak asked, even thought he heard him the first time. "I never meant to hurt you." Even whispered again, "I know my mum thinks I will hurt you again," he suttered, "but I really don't want to." Isak felt the tears coming to his eyes, "I know." he said quietly, _I know. But you did._

Isak left the room and walked to the university.

 

_"Good morning", Isak said as he rushed in the class a bit later one day, smiling apologetic. "shall we start?" There was around 30 students. He put his bag on the desk and started the lesson. The students became quiet._

_"Some of you may not know me yet. My name is Isak Valtersen, and in these classes we're gonna talk about mental illnes and people diagnosed with them. I am talking about bipolar, schizophrenia, depression, panic attacks, and so on. Some of you may be diagnosed, maybe you  are trying to figure it out. Some of you may have friends, family or… partners… diagnosed with some of the disorders." Isak stuttered for second, partners… oh gosh Even, what have you done to me…? "I want you to be open minded, ask, think, that's all I need from you here okay?" The students agreed in response. "Some of you may wonder who I am to talk about this," Okay, Isak thought, maybe this will work, maybe I can breathe again, move on. "my mother has schizophrenia, and… someone else… who was very close to me… " Isak stuttered, "was diagnosed with bipolar."_

_The rest of the lecture they talked about Isak's students, all of them told their stories, they connection to mental disorders. Talking about themselves, their families, their friends, partners. Who wasn't ready to talk about it, such as Isak about Even, but he did talk about his mother, just listened._

_And that day, Isak felt that after so long time, he maybe will move on. Accept it. Accept Even's decision to leave him. Accept, that he just wasn't right enough for Even._

 

_Through the few next lectures they have been talking about the disorders themselves. Then they moved to the more discussion topic. What to do when someone close to us is diagnosed?_

_Isak was actually surprised by his students. Many of them had diagnosed siblings or friends and Isak was admiring them. For accepting it (even though for some of them it was still hard to accept it, but they came on the lecture, hadn't they?) and mainly, they wanted to do something about it._

_There was one group of students that was more interested than the others. It was a small group of 4 medical students. Two girls, two boys. They often stayed after the lectures and talked with Isak about illnesses from the medical point of view. They talked about ways how they could diagnose people as soon as possible, and so take care of them. Or if there was any way, they could actually cure these disorders._

_As time flew, Isak grew up together with his students and eventually as all of them opened up about their story with mental illness, one day did Isak as well._

 

_"... And that's just a way they express themselves. They are still the people you knew. Maybe you can't see them right away, but they are there and they might need your help, even if they don't ask for it directly. Of course it can happen that you're just not enough... But that doesn't mean you did something wrong..." Isak suddenly stopped and looked around the class. He was quiet for few seconds before Jonathan, one of the medical students, sitting in first row, asked him if he's okay._

_Isak swallowed and closed the books on his desks and moved them on the side and sat on the table in front of them._

_"Okay guys!" He clapped to get their attention, "it's time for sharing." To tell you about Even._

_The students were confused, they usually talked only in the ends of the lectures._

_"The first lecture I mentioned that my mother has schizophrenia, and I talked about her many times, but I also mentioned someone diagnosed with bipolar," he said and looked on Jonathan, taking deep breath, "his name was… is Even." he started, the students listened to him carefully._

_He told them how they met on the party, started dating, how Even ran from the hotel, as they moved in together, and how Even crushed and both of them ended up in the hospital._

_"In the end, he broke up with me and left without any reason." Isak paused, to clear his thoughts, "And it broke my heart, you know, the feeling that after all we have been through, I wasn't enough for him, that he couldn't count on with me. And honestly, between us, I thought that I will never see him again, but as you maybe already guessed, our lifes met once again. I work in hospital, and one day they brought in a young man covered in blood, bruises on his whole body, when he woke up, we found out that he didn't remember, and I thought that he will be happy again, if he doesn't remember me. But he did, and he left me again." Isak felt tears in his eyes, so stopped talking for while, the ringing bell saved him._

_"Okay, that's it for today," he said and forced smile, leaving the class._

 

When Isak came in the class, most of the students were already there. He smiled on them, greeted and opened the books. He also put his mobile on the desk in fron of him. _Just for sure. If Even called._ And he started the lesson.

He probably was checking his phone too often, because when the lecture was over, Jonathan came to him, asking if Isak is okay.

"Yeah," he nodded, "just you know.." "Is it Even?" Jonathan asked carefully. Isak hesitated, but in the end nodded. The other medical students joined them, "What's wrong?" asked one of the girls. "Even came to my house few days ago." Isak said, he knew there was no point in lying. Anyway, they were his friends, so… "Oh..." Jonathan said, "is he okay?" Isak nodded. "Okay," he said, "I will go. See you Thursday." With those words he left.

 

When he came back home, he went to check on Even. The boy was sleeping. How unexpected, Isak thought as he scoffed and took the plate and cup. Even ate and drank everything. When Isak walked in the kitchen he noticed a small paper on the plate. He opened it. The tears went in his eyes.

 

_It was a drawing._

_On one side there was Isak lying on the couch. Alone, sad, broken. Above him Even draw a broken heart._

_On the second side he was lying in a bed, next to Even and there was heart draw between them._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tam tam tadaaaa things are getting getting better from now on!!! (Sorry it took sooo long :)


	6. DAY 8-9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Who is he?" Isak asked, internally not wanting to know the answer. But he needed to. Even frowned. "The boy who saved your life. The one you didn't want to hurt?" His heart was beating so fast that Isak honestly thought it will jump out of his body.

Isak called Sana that he is coming to the hospital that evening. Even looked better, Isak didn't even need to babysit him anyway.

She was happy to see him.

"What's the status on Meyers?" Isak asked as he was putting his coat on. Meyers was a family which was in an awful car accident. Father unfortunately died on place of the accident, but the mother and daughter and son survived. All of them in coma, fighting for their lifes. The daughter was only 4 years old and that was breaking Isak's heart. When she was going to wake up, she will wake up without a father.

"The mother isn't doing as well as we were hoping for, but there were some complications with the boy." Sana informed him, "problems with heart." Isak nodded.

 

"So, what's the deal with Even?" Sana asked him, when both of them weren't doing anything, not needed anywhere. Isak sighed. "He showed up at my house." Sana raised her eyebrows, silently asking for more information. "And now he's lying in my bed, sleeping." Sana nodded, _and?_  Isak huffed, "I don't know what I am doing Sana, alright?!" Isak confessed, "I just can't leave him there, and he looked all so sad, and …" He stuttered, "I still care about him Sana." he shook his head, "I'll always care about him." Sana put her hand on Isak's shoulder, "I know you do Isak." she said kindly, "I just hate both of you getting hurt again and again." Isak hugged her. They didn't hug often, but it always meant a lot to Isak. "Be careful, okay?" Sana told him, releasing from the hug, "you can always come to our house." "Thanks Sana." "How about you come for dinner tomorrow?" Isak thought about it for while, "Okay." he agreed finally. _He didn't come._

 

At some point during the day, the machines started beeping. Something was wrong. Isak rushed in the room where the Meyers were kept. It was the boy.

Isak and some others doctors took him immediately in the operating room. They needed to fix his heart. To get it beating again.

 

Isak and the other doctor were fighting for the young boys life for hours. Isak was doing his best, but the young boy was just too weak. They couldn't help him. _He couldn't help him. He failed him. He failed._

The flatline sound was ringing in the room. Everything else was quiet.

 

Isak rushed out of the surgery. Feeling empty. He actually didn't feel. Nothing. At all. Sana tried to stop him, but he just kept walking. _He failed._ He needed get home. He needed to be alone.

 

 

As he got home, he lied into his bed without thinking about it. As he lied, something in him finally broke. He was crying in his bed, he couldn't breathe, instead more sobs came out of from him. _He failed._

Suddenly he felt someones arms hug him tightly.  He totally forgot about Even. Even who was laying in the bed, next to him, hugging him tightly, drawing him closer.

He didn't move away. He just stayed lying there, in Even's tight wrap. Soon he calmed down a little bit, "Do you want to talk about it?" Even asked carefully. Isak hadn't answered immediately and Even didn't push him, so they were just lying there. _Being Isak and Even once again._

"I couldn't save him." Isak whispered, his face hiding in Even's neck. "He died so young because of me. Because I wasn't good enough to save him." Even stroke his cheek, "Isak, don't ever doubt yourself," he said so kindly, that Isak felt tears in his eyes again, "you did your best, but sometimes we just have to let go."  "I am never enough." Even suddenly hugged him tighter, "You are Isak, you are. You saved me." "Then why did you let go of me?" Isak asked, pushing himself from Even, because after all, he was still angry on him, they broke up. But Even didn't let go, he just held him, keeping him warm and feeling safe,

Isak eventually fell asleep.

When he woke up again, he was surprised by the warmth surrounding him. Someone was brushing his hair carefully. When Isak opened his eyes, he was looking straight at Even, who was already watching him. Isak looked around himself, outside was shining. He must have slept whole night. _He always slept better next to Even._ "Good morning." Even whispered, his arm still around Isak's waist, the another one brushing his hair slowly. "Hi." Isak whispered, not sure what's happening. _He was lying in his bed. With Even. Who broke up with him. Who hurt him. And yet, he was here, taking care of Isak. What's going on?_

"We need to talk." Isak whispered. He saw the shock in Even's eyes. "Okay." the older boy nodded. But neither of them moved. They were lying in the bed for few more minutes, in the end Isak got up to change his clothes, he opened his wardrobe and left to the bathroom without closing it.

While he was in shower, he tried to think about what he should tell to Even. _It was weird already. The broke up. Twice (sort of). And yet, they still cared about each other._

When he finally got from the shower, he dried himself, looking on the door. _He remembered the moment, when Even came in and saw him, covered in bruises, running away from the flat._ He got dressed and came out from the bathroom.

Even was still in the room. Isak walked in there, but he did not expect Even sitting on the floor. In front of the wardrobe. With a box of his things. With the bog of things reminding Isak of them. He did not expect see Even crying.

Even looked up to him, looking so small, so vulnerable, so broken. "I am so sorry." he whispered. "I never wanted to hurt you." Isak knelt down next to him, hugging him. "I am sorry too."

Even pulled himself from Isak, looking back on the box. "I got rid of all these things," he confessed, "I thought you'll hate me forever." he sniffed, "I mean, I wanted it, but it hurt so bad. I.." he stuttered, "I couldn't breathe."

Isak moved away from Even, his back leaned on the wall, so he was looking straight at Even. _Here it was. They were talking._

"I thought we were good." Isak said, "We were." Even agreed, drying his tears, "Then why would you break up with me?" Even skook his head, "Because I was scared of loosing you." "Do you think you're the only vulnerable here?" Isak scoffed, "Don't you think I was scared every time you were bipolar? Don't you think I was scared of loosing you every time someone else was flirting with you?" Even was looking on him with such a guilty in his eyes. "Relationships take effort!" Isak raised his voice, _Even couldn't help himself but smile a little bit, because of the Shadowhunters reference Isak used. Even made him watch that._ "You can't be with someone if you don't trust them. If you can't talk to them!" "I tried Isak!" Even shouted to stop Isak, he suddenly quieted. He never shouted on Isak before. "I loved you so much Isak and everything was so perfect… I just couldn't believe it." _Isak frowned at the expresion 'loved you' it was past tense. Even didn't love him anymore. It was over. They were over. He didn't love him anymore. He moved on. He already met someone else._

"Who is he?" Isak asked, internally not wanting to know the answer. But he needed to. Even frowned. "The boy who saved your life. The one you didn't want to hurt?" His heart was beating so fast that Isak honestly thought it will jump out of his body.

Even didn't say anything for a long time, looking in Isak's eyes. Blue eyes meeting green ones. "You." He said, still looking in his eyes, "It was always you." Isak couldn't breathe. "You saved me so many times, you keep saving me all over again and you don't even know it."

Isak didn't notice he was crying until Even came to him and wiped his tears away, then he pulled him in tight hug. "You're the best person I've ever met Isak. And don't ever doubt that, please." Isak hugged him back. _He still loves me. There's still hope. Maybe even in this universe we can be together as well?_ "I hate you." Isak murmured. "I know. I am sorry." Even whispered back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are any mistakes please forgive me, also (!) we are almost there! :) Thank you everyone for your comments and kudos :)))


	7. DAY 10-13; PART 1: Angriness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PART 1: Angriness

They talked. A lot. About everything. Even explaining himself and Isak as well. In the begining it was more like arguing. Both of the boys felt need to explain themselves, interrupting the other boy.

It felt as if they were in small bubble, only the two of them. Figuring out their lifes. Anything outside their bubble didn't matter. Their phones were on the table, ringing, beeping, vibrating, but noone payed attention to them. They were isolated from the outside world. At least until they solved their problems.

 

~Isak woke up in the morning,on the couch, smelling eggs. Even made breakfast. As they were eating quietly, Isak suddenly couldn't hold it anymore. "I just don't understand why you just couldn't talk to me about it!" Isak shouted, "Because I was scared of loosing you." Even shouted back, "You should've talk to me!" "I tried!" "You should've try harder!" Even didn't say anything and just put his plate in the dishwasher.~

 

~Even was sitting on the couch, when Isak came in the living room, holding a book, putting it on the shelf. "Did you ever thought about leaving me?" Even asked him. Isak stared on him. "What the fuck Even!?" he shouted and throw the book on him, Even managed to avoid it. "Is that a yes?" He asked. Isak was just looking on him "I.. Uh.. Fuck you!" he screamed, and threw another book on him, it missed Even as well. "So you did," Even shockingly sighed, "how long?" "I didn't!" Isak shouted on him. A lie. He did. Few times… "It wasn't like that!" "So explain it to me!" Even shouted on him, "explain me why wouldn't you leave a fucking crazy person??!" Isak gasped. "You told me yourself you don't need fucking sick people in your life!" he shouted. Ouch, that hurt. "I didn't mean that. I told you!" Isak threw another book in Even's direction. Even pushed it off by his hand. "Oh," he chuckled wrathfully, "oh Isak, you did!" "That was years ago!" "That doesn't change anything! You wanted to leave me!" "I did!" Isak shouted, shit, "But I never did because I cared about you!" he felt tears on his cheeks, "You were the one who left me!" he let go of the book he was holding in his hand. The book fell on the floor and Isak left the room.~

 

~When Isak came out of the shower, he met Even in the hallway. Even was looking on him, pity in his eyes. "What?" Isak spat out. "You still have the scars from the accident." "Leave me alone!" Isak growled as he walked away from Even, but Even caught his arm, making Isak look back at him. "I am sorry Isak." he said, looking in his eyes. "Fuck you Even!" Isak shouted, "I don't need your pity!" "Oh! You mean the pity I saw in your eyes every time I was having depressions!?" Even screamed back on Isak. "How do you think I felt, seeing you being all sad about me!?" Isak didn't say anything, "You know how fucking awfull feeling it was?! Seeing you being all sad for me!?" "I didn't pity you Even!" Isak shouted, "I wasn't feeling bad for you, but you know what???" Don't say it Isak, don't. "I feel sad for you now, because all you do is drowning in your own bullshit problems! You're not the only one fucked up!!" That was cruel. Isak knew it. "Fuck you Isak." Even whispered and went in the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.~

 

~It was already night, Isak was lying on the couch in the living room, reading one of the books Liv brought him earlier, he couldn't sleep. Even came, in his sleeping t-shirt and pants and stood in front of Isak. "What are you doing?" Isak asked him annoyed, closing the book. "I thought you maybe want to come and sleep with me." Even offered, Isak frowned, "Why would I?" he said spitefully. "Because you are not sleeping." Even said, Isak could see the worry in his eyes. "Fuck you," he spat out, "I am just not tired." "I am just trying to help you!" Even raised his voice. "I don't need your help!" Isak shouted on him. "Can't you just for once forget your pride and let people help you!?" "I don't need help!" Isak shouted on him and turned around on the couch, so he hadn't to face Even. The older boy just left without any word. One hour later Isak crawled in the bed, close enough to be touching the older boy. During the night they unconsciously intertwined their bodies as they used to.~

 

~As they were eating lunch Isak looked at Even. "Did you take your meds?" He asked him, still looking at him. "Fucking hell Isak!" Even shouted and pushed the food away from himself. "Can you kindly fuck off and stop behaving like Sonja?!" "Well I am sorry I care about your health!" "I am not fucking child Isak! I don't need you bossing me around!" "I am not bossing you around I am just making sure you are taking your meds!" Isak shouted on him, desperated, I just want to make sure you'll be okay. "Fuck you Isak! You know exactly why I broke up with Sonja and now you behave such as her!" With that Even left the table. "We do it because we care about you Even," Isak shouted on him, "so stop pushing us away!" "I don't need you." Even shouted back.~

 

~Even opened the window to let some fresh air come in the room. Outside was shining. Even leaned out of the window and let the wind play with his hair. He listened to the Oslo sounds. Cars driving, ambulance hooting, people talking...

"Are you thinking about jumping?" Isak asked harshly as he saw Even standing there. He turned around quickly. "What the fuck Isak?" he screamed. "You're fucking trying to jump from the fucking window!" "I am not fucking suicidal every time I look from the window." "You fucking tried to kill yourself twice Even!" Isak shouted on him, tears in his eyes, "How can I know you're not gonna try again?!" "Because I gave you fucking promise!" "And looked where it got us!" Isak shouted and left the room.~

 

~When Isak woke up in the morning Even was gone. The bed next to him was empty and already cold. Isak was now fully awake. Did Even leave??

He took the small piece of paper lying on Even's pillow. Please no.

On one side of the picture was Even sitting alone on the raillings. On the other, there was drawn an angel sitting next to him and under it Even wrote: You keep saving me every day.

He got up from the bed, searching whole flat, Even nowhere to be found. Shit, Isak thought, he will never make things right with him.

He was sitting on the floor, crying. He lost him. Again.~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today is your lucky day (Friday 13th) I posted both parts! (Two chapters) :) have fun


	8. DAY 14-16;  2: Agreement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PART 2: Agreement

Isak wasn't sure how long he was sitting there, his tears dried already. He was just sitting there, looking nowhere, not thinking about anything.

He fucked up. He shouldn't have fight with Even. Now they will never find their ways back together. His last moments with Even were arguing.

He suddenly heard the key in the door. He stood up. Sana probably lost her patience when Isak wasn't answering her texts. He walked in the hallway, but froze when he saw Even instead of Sana.

"Even." he whispered and hug the other boy, crying quietly. "Hey, Isak," Even whispered caringly, "what's wrong?" "I thought you left me." the younger boy whispered, "I thought we were never gonna clear things." "Oh Isak,…" Even hugged him back, "I am not going anywhere until we sort this out, okay?" Isak nodded, but didn't say anything. "I just went to buy some groceries, your fridge supplies are horrible." Isak chuckled lightly. They were standing in the hallway, still hugging, not saying anything.

"I don't want to fight anymore." Isak whispered so quietly, that Even almost hadn't hear him. "Me neither baby." Baby. Isak's heart jumped at that nickname. He didn't think that he will hear Even say that ever again. "Okay." "Okay." They finally agreed on something.

 

Even made breakfast, his popular eggs. Isak put the plates on the table and made a coffee. They sat to the table and ate in silence. It wasn't that uncomfortable silence, both of them had things to think about.

When they were almost done Isak looked on Even, "Do you think we can figure this out?" He asked him, scared of the answer. Even smiled on him kindly, "I hope so. I want you in my life." "Okay." Isak's heart warmed a little bit.

There was still a hope.

 

Outside was raining. They took their coffees and sat on the couch. "We fucked up that one didn't we?" Isak asked with smile on his face. "Yeah." Even chuckled. "Did you met anyone after we broke up?" Isak asked carefully, "I mean… you don't have to-" "Isak." Even said his name, the way it made that butterflies feeling in Isak's stomach, "There was noone else after you. Never." Isak smiled on him. "How about you?" Even asked quietly, "Ever got chance with Rasmus?" Isak chuckled quietly. "No," he shook his head, "there was this annoying patient who kept ruining all our moments." Even laughed. "Sounds like he was a pain in ass." "No, no he wasn't," Isak whispered, "he never was."

 

They started talking about everything that day. Explaining what, why and how they felt. They talked about all the things they hadn't before. Isak telling Even about his courses on university. They laughed a little bit about Even's memory incident. Isak felt they could be friends again. That they could move on. Leave the past behind them.

 

At one point of the talk, Isak brought the box with their stuff, both boys going through it. Looking on pictures, reminding themselves of the good days, and the bad one as well. They laughed at the funny stories and talked about the bad times.

They were going to figure it out. It could work again.

 

They just needed to take it slow. "Can we take it slow this time?" Isak asked, Even smiled on him. "We have all the time in the world." They fell asleep, together, in Isak's bed.

 

They could work it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next and last chapter is the epilogue ;)


	9. DAY 16- until the death separates them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some happy ending (finally)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here guyys! I am so happy you liked this story, enjoy the last chapter!

**THREE WEEKS LATER**

"So," Even sat next to Isak, "do you have any plans for tomorrow?" he asked him smoothly. Isak grinned and pretended to be thinking.

"Depends on what you're planning to do." he joked. It was good to be friends with Even again. All their friends said that they were definitely not JUST friends, but Isak didn't care, as long as Even was in his life, that was all he needed.

"Well," Even leaned closer to Isak, "I was thinking about taking this beautiful boy on a proper _date_." Isak laughed. _Wait… oh…_ "Oh." he said as he figured out, that Even was talking about him. "Oh." his heart started beating faster, now was Even's turn to laugh, but he seemed nervous. "Isak..?" he asked unsure. "I am free." he answered with huge smile.

 

**TWO MONTHS LATER**

It was Valentine day and Even took Isak to the park, they used to go for walks. They laughed about something that happened in Isak's job. Holding hands. Kissing in shadows of the trees. Even pushed Isak, pressing him against one of the trees, kissing him eagerly. Isak didn't mind. "Do you want to be my boyfriend?" Even suddenly asked.  Isak stopped kissing him, looking on him he smiled and kissed him again. "I thought you'll never ask." He could feel Even smiling in the kisses.

"I hope it will work out this time." Even whispered, looking down on his hand, taking Isak's in his owns. Isak kissed him, "It will." _It will._

 

**HALF YEAR LATER**

They spent whole weekend together in Even's parents cottage. There was a lot of kisses and sex. Things were good. Both of them believed that they could work it out this time.

When they came home, to Isak's flat (even thought that Even was spending here most of his time) Isak recieved a call from Sana. He gave Even peck on lips and accepted the call.

It wasn't good news. The Meyers, the mother has died that morning in her sleep. They couldn't help her. And so the small girl was alone. Her family died and Isak's heart broke up. She was so young and yet a such tragedy rewrote her whole future.

Isak was crying, the phone still in his hand. Even ran in the room hugging Isak, asking what's wrong. And Isak told him. He told him about Meyers before, so Even knew how close Isak was with the small girl.

It didn't took Isak too long before he decided to adopt her.

But how should he tell Even? What if Even wasn't ready for children?

Even knew him too well. As they were lying in the bed that night, he looked on him and smiled. "You want to adopt her, don't you?" Isak avoided his gaze. "I mean... I would love to but..." He stuttered, "if you don't it's fine... Really... I just.." "Isak I was thinking about the same." "I uh.. wait what?" Isak looked back at Even. "Are you serious?" Even nodded. "But it's... Huge step..." "I think we can survive that." _We._

Even suddenly jumped out of the bed and started to looking for something in the wardrobe. Isak sat on the end of the bed, confusedly watching him.

"Ah!" Even suddenly shouted. "Even what are you.." Even turned around with a silver ring with written '21:21' on it on golden chain.

"Isak Valtersen," he kneeled in front of him and Isak gasped, "I know I already asked you once, and I know we agreed to také things slow… but will you make me the happiest man alive?"

Isak couldn't breathe. They have been here before. Even knew it was hard, for him as well, but he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Isak. Anyway... What could he loose?

"I know it didn't work out last time," he started when Isak still hasn't answer, "but I really love you and I really believe we can work it out. I promise I will talk to you about everything, I will -" at that moment Isak kissed him.

"Is that... Is that a yes?" Even asked unsure. "Yes." Isak smiled and kissed him again.

 

**ONE AND HALF YEAR LATER**

Isak walked to the aisle with his mother, as did Even. In front of them was walking small girl, throwing pink leafs everywhere.

Everything was perfect.

Isak had a perfect husband and a perfect daughter.

Life was good. Life was really really good.

 

Life is now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS thank you so much for all your comments and kudos, it has been beautiful experience for me (and don't worry, I am already working on some one shots and I have planned another more-chapter-story, which will be inspired by Halley comet -> any ideas how? :P :))) let me know what you think. You can also find me on tumblr @annie4m :)


End file.
